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She said she was sorry if we got off on the wrong foot earlier on in the year and couldn’t I see she could be a lot of help to me; said there was a limit, of course, with me being a man and all — or so the rumour was, ha ha – but she was sure she could help me get a higher grade than I’m on now. “Look, I’m not looking for anything deep,” she said.Seems like she just really gets off on the idea of us having sex in the office. Wouldn’t it be great if I was tonguing her off under her desk while she was on the phone to some customer, she suggested. I thought that sounded really risky, so she said well how about in the stores cupboard, or she’d smuggle me into the girl’s restroom (which sounded even more risky). Then she starts with a “Well, I guess these days you aren’t getting much that needs you to take your pants down, are you? I mean New Order is so down on prick-sex, aren’t they? That’s not the sort of thing you’d normally be able to find, is it? Me, I’m more open minded. I don’t. She, like many others, already possesses a full repertoire of alien assistants, who work with her to convince other species of the wisdom of our advice. With or without me, the efforts of individuals like her, the staff of the University of Washington, and the Walker Institute in Philadelphia, will continue unabated. We will persevere!But that’s not the point of this news conference. Instead, I’m here to detail our actions over the past day which involved many of you in this great city. After the last attack, a group of our dragons, assisted by a single flying Viking Berserker—associated with PTSD victims—set out across Seattle to isolate these rogue elements. They flew from one individual to another, asking their creatures for any information, as well as seeking to convince others to join our efforts. Any dragons or berserkers they met, they demanded a fealty oath. The dragons have mostly agreed—after we explained our positions. But the berserkers who led this rebellion, confusing.
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